A lot has happened since the last time I posted.After suffering at work with my boss’ bullying for almost a year, Human Resources was able to place me onto a new Global team within the company (same building and job, different floor and team), in which I’ve now been with for almost 6 months. While this comes as great news and a sigh of relief, one of my adjacent goals was to confirm whether I liked my career or not.
While sitting in status calls each morning, trying to recall the details of each project, I remember feeling a sense of unhappiness, because, although these campaigns were large, they did not speak to my values and left my soul aching as I went through the motions of every urgent task. Why am I working so hard for something that doesn’t matter to me? I constantly asked myself why I need to worry and hustle over work that doesn’t add value to my life or others in a significant way. After removing my belittling boss, over time I was able to clearly see that, despite now having a wonderful team to work with, I still don’t enjoy most aspects of my career. Although initially heartbreaking, this discovery relieves my current anxieties, because, with the proper steps, I’ll be able to get closer to my truest life.
Last Monday, I spoke to HR again, and although they're attempting to help move me onto a new department (something without killer hours, at least), I plan to take the ultimate leap and announce my two weeks notice sometime this month. For someone with my background (formerly homeless teen with little/no support or resources to make a better life for myself), the odds were against me, so finding a 'good' career with a wonderful atmosphere, awesome co-workers, health benefits, and steady pay has been a beacon. Letting go is very, very scary.
As John Burroughs said, "Leap and the net will appear."