MASSIVE ACTION: I QUIT

The scariest part is over.  My last day at my company was 8/27/13 and I haven't looked back since.

Before my official last day, I had plenty of preconceived notions as to how I'd feel and what I'd be doing with the seemingly endless amount of time.  I thought I'd immediately confirm my passion and catapult into an new arena, ready to battle further to reach my purest authenticity.  

Since my first day as a free woman, reality struck hard when I met my challenges and fears in person.  They were no longer ideas or a distant understanding of what I thought they were and felt like. They are here now, and being immersed in these realities is more difficult than imagined.  

The tools that have brought me confidence that still exists through these difficult moments are minimalism, meditation, financial success (I'm debt free, saved enough money to keep the lights on and eat well for an extended period of time).  I know my money will no longer go to superfluous items or activities any longer and I now have to be accountable for the goal of this journey. I cannot fail.

I've told all of my closest friends, family members and acquaintances about my recent endeavors and they are watching. The worst thing someone can do is quit something that is important because it seems difficult.  Besides hurting yourself, you never know who your inspiring with your journey, so push forward! 

While my schedule is still filling, I've so far participated in the family time I've missed so much, along with various outings with long lost friends. While this all sounds fair and well, I will still need to locate activities to confirm my passions. Time with friends, family and random days when I'm just taking a walk in the park all serve as a great foundation to new realizations. The journey is not about brainstorming your days away!

Throughout these next few months, I will do the due diligence to discover my passions by volunteering, taking classes, asking questions, and researching my various curiousities which until now have alluded me. When I'm not doing these activities, I will be enjoying life.

Onward. March!

THE DECISION TO QUIT

A lot has happened since the last time I posted. 

After suffering at work with my boss’ bullying for almost a year, Human Resources was able to place me onto a new Global team within the company (same building and job, different floor and team), in which I’ve now been with for almost 6 months. While this comes as great news and a sigh of relief, one of my adjacent goals was to confirm whether I liked my career or not.

While sitting in status calls each morning, trying to recall the details of each project, I remember feeling a sense of unhappiness, because, although these campaigns were large, they did not speak to my values and left my soul aching as I went through the motions of every urgent task. Why am I working so hard for something that doesn’t matter to me? I constantly asked myself why I need to worry and hustle over work that doesn’t add value to my life or others in a significant way.  After removing my belittling boss, over time I was able to clearly see that, despite now having a wonderful team to work with, I still don’t enjoy most aspects of my career. Although initially heartbreaking, this discovery relieves my current anxieties, because, with the proper steps, I’ll be able to get closer to my truest life.

Last Monday, I spoke to HR again, and although they're attempting to help move me onto a new department (something without killer hours, at least), I plan to take the ultimate leap and announce my two weeks notice sometime this month. For someone with my background (formerly homeless teen with little/no support or resources to make a better life for myself), the odds were against me, so finding a  'good' career with a wonderful atmosphere, awesome co-workers, health benefits, and steady pay has been a beacon. Letting go is very, very scary.  

In other news, I’ve moved out of my aunt and uncle’s attic and into an apartment with an acquaintance about a month ago. I’ve been with my family for 4 years while they supported me through college and the job search process, and although it hurts to separate from them, moving is the next natural step. I now have bills, and soon, a budget which I will share with you.

As John Burroughs said, "Leap and the net will appear."